


Before You Go

by ZYMoon127



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Victorian, Light Angst, Love Confessions, Love Letters, M/M, Secrets, hyuckil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-14 23:01:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29426409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZYMoon127/pseuds/ZYMoon127
Summary: On the day Lord Haechan Lee is due to leave the country for America, his servant, Moon Taeil, finally gathers the courage to confess his feelings kept secret for years in the form of letters to the boy he’s loved all his life.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Moon Taeil
Comments: 6
Kudos: 49
Collections: Challenge #5 — I heard a secret..





	Before You Go

When Moon Taeil first found out Lord Haechan Lee would be leaving Nisgreen Manor for America he had gone into a phase of absolute shock. The news was delivered about a year ago at a time when Haechan seemed utterly content with his life. It was almost impossible to make sense of the situation, to understand what could have driven the young Lord into wishing to leave behind his home and family for a country thousands of miles away. Taeil had asked all the servants if they knew of any reason, and with some questioning, discovered he was moving in order to attend an American university he had been dreaming of going to for years.

After the announcement was made, not much was said about Haechan’s approaching departure. Taeil liked to pretend that if he forgot about the issue it would eventually dissipate into thin air alongside Haechan’s foregin dreams.

But he had no such luck. Today was the day when Haechan would depart from the manor for the final time. In less than a week he would be living an entirely different life whilst Taeil would be forced to continue working on the grand estate without the reason he enjoyed staying there so much. Taeil wasn’t ready for that. He would never be, unless he shared the secret that had been plaguing him from almost a decade.

Taeil had never shared this secret with anyone, at least, not intentionally. His cooking assistant, Jungwoo, had discovered it one day when he was searching through their shared bedroom for his missing shoe. Jungwoo found the “secret” shoved under one of the loose floorboards under Taeil’s bed. Why he was searching in such a place remained a mystery, however, there was no mystery as to what he discovered.

Under that floorboard was a collection of letters, all addressed to the second son of the head of the household, Lord Haechan Lee. Taeil had begun writing them on the day of Haechan’s twentieth birthday. Only once the boy turned into an adult did he even let himself accept his own emotions. From then on he let everything pour out through the black ink onto paper he stole from the butler. The letters he wrote spoke of tender feelings he’d been harbouring for the young Lord in a raw unfiltered way. 

Taeil liked to think it was inevitable for him to fall for Haechan Lee. He had been so kind to him from the day he first arrived, when Taeil was nothing more than a scruffy teenage boy in need of employment six years older than Haechan with little knowledge of anything beyond preparing meals. It was Haechan who’d taught him how to read and write properly. It must’ve looked strange, now that Taeil thought about it, a little boy decked in the finest clothes sitting beside a kitchen assistant showing him how to write basic words. The friendship should’ve been wholly impossible because of the cavernous social divide, but Haechan never cared about that. His kindness and teaching meant the world to Taeil, it gave him strength.

Now he could read the great novels the boy studied in school and fall into the world of epics. Really, there was no way Taeil could ever repay Haechan for that, but he tried. In time he became someone Haechan could rely on and ask for advice, not just a house cook who existed solely to serve him. It was this friendship that made Taeil love living at the manor. 

Taeil voiced this gratitude in his final love letter. He signed it with a flourish before sealing it in a cream envelope he found in Jungwoo’s drawer. There was no time for hanging around feeling sorry for himself, Taeil had to act when he could or he would regret it for the rest of his life, this was the last chance he had to confess his feelings to Haechan in a meaningful way. Time was running out. Leaving the delivery to the very last moment would eliminate all chances of the young Lord staying. Even if he didn't care or thought Taeil was disgusting for it, he had to reveal his secret.

So, once Taeil placed the letter in his messenger bag alongside the remainder of the collection, he strode through the servants’ quarters with as much bravery as he could muster, and ascended the stairwell leading him to the upper floor. There he was careful to avoid any of the members of the household, for fear they would question his actions or ask him to do something. He knew exactly where to find Haechan, whenever the boy desired peace he retreated to the solace of his personal garden. With only two hours to go before his scheduled time of departure he surely would wish for some last minute peace.

Taeil successfully made it to the back door leading to the garden without capturing anyone’s attention. The rest of the household were probably too busy finishing off the rest of Haechan’s packing to notice the house cook weaving through the lavishly decorated halls. He slid through the door carefully and stepped into the world of greenery. As expected, Haechan was sitting under a tree in the center of his garden with a book in his lap. He looked up the moment Taeil stepped foot on the stone path.

“Good afternoon, Taeil, what brings you to my gardens?” he questioned. “Come, sit beside me.”

Haechan had always treated Taeil like a friend rather than a servant, his parents disapproved, but never made any serious moves to prevent him from doing so. The lack of prejudice enabled Taeil to fall for him wholeheartedly. Haechan was one of the most compassionate people he had ever met, something one would not expect from the second son of a wealthy marquess. 

Haechan was dressed in his travelling cloak. Beside him lay a pair of discarded gloves and the hat he wore when he went to town. The sight of the familiar outfit was enough to not only drop a stone of sadness in Taeil’s stomach but also provide him with a rush of resolution. He could do this.

“I wanted to give you something before you leave, you have been so kind to me, I must remind you of it,” Taeil replied, something thick was clogging his throat, it was already growing harder for him to speak.

Haechan nodded thoughtfully, his fluffy brown curls bounced at the movement, briefly floating in the summer breeze. Taeil placed a tentative hand on the long locks and smiled when he saw Haechan’s lips turn upwards softly. He hated to think that could be the last time he would ever get to seeing the boy’s lovely plump lips, peppered with the remnants of the most recent meal Taeil made for him, grin at him affectionately. 

“You have done so much for me, you even let me wander into your private chambers at my leisure,” Taeil said with a giggle. “‘Tis strange to think you will be gone in a matter of hours.”

Haechan nodded again. “Indeed it is, my dreams lie over the ocean, nothing can stop me from reaching for them. If you come to talk me out of it then I shan’t listen.”

The boy’s words might as well have been a spear to Taeil’s heart. Haechan was well aware that he wanted him to stay, and yet he was still set on moving to America. Taeil grit his teeth, he couldn’t give up, there was still a collection of written truths growing heavier and heavier in his threadbare messenger bag. There was still a chance that the letters would change Haechan’s mind, or at least shock him into rethinking his decisions. 

Haechan had always been a headstrong person, it was Taeil who took up the job of reining him in and preventing him from making rash decisions. Taeil was his advisor and now he was disregarded. It wasn’t uncommon for Haechan to try shutting out the opinions of those close to him in order to feel more secure about his choices. 

“I do not wish to spend my last private moments with you arguing,” Taeil sighed. “That was never my intention. What I have come to do is to give you my last gift. It is my way of saying thank you for all the good you have done for me.”

Taeil willed his hands to stay steady as he lifted the strap of his bag over his head. He knew if he didn’t give the letters to Haechan now the fear would overtake him. Slowly, he placed the bag in Haechan’s awaiting hands. “What is inside is something I have been working on for years. Now I have done what I wished to, I must go help Jungwoo prepare your food for your travels,” he explained, hating how his voice sounded like it was about to break.

Haechan’s smile grew with delight, he was the type to love receiving gifts. Gifts were one of the ways Taeil won him over. In his younger years he’d sometimes use his small amount of savings to buy him sweets. Though his dreams had changed with time, so many aspects of that kind little boy prevailed in adult Haechan, which was why it was so hard for Taeil to understand how he could leave him behind without a second thought. It hurt more than it ever should.

“T-that is all I came to do,” Taeil stammered, he had to leave before the nerves consumed him completely, he wouldn’t be able to handle seeing Haehan read the letters. “Farewell, soon I shall be waiting for you outside the manor ready for your leaving.”

.

☽✦☾

.

Two hours came and went. Within those hours there was not a single word from Haechan. Taeil was so busy finishing off the travelling food that he didn’t have the opportunity to go searching for him. He kept his mind off the young Lord by sticking close to Jungwoo, who was more than happy to fill his head with mindless chatter. 

Whenever Haechan did manage to creep into Taeil’s thoughts his heart would sink a few meters. The more he thought about it the more the chance of the boy taking his confessions seriously seemed to diminish. He was a servant, for God’s sake, he was lucky enough to have even managed to build a friendship with him. It was ridiculous to think his words would be influential enough to make him change his mind when he’d been so set on leaving for the last year. There was also the fact that Haechan was incredibly busy, he might not have even bothered opening any of the letters.

Taeil willed his mind to think of anything but the kind beautiful Lord and instead devoted his attention to preparing the best food possible so Haechan wouldn’t be hungry on his trip. He knew how much he hated eating from random pubs along the road. When he was younger he’d always complain to Taeil about the strange foods he had to eat when he went on outings. 

Taeil had to be supportive of Haechan. He would be failing as a friend if he didn’t help him live his dreams. Though it hurt, if Taeil truly loved him he would let him fly free of the cage called Nisgreen Manor holding him back from success. That was what he was trying to convince himself. Unfortunately, no matter how many times he scolded himself for being selfish and reasoned that it was for the best, Taeil couldn’t accept his fate of living in such a vast manor without the boy he cared for most, the boy who lit up his dim world when he thought he was doomed to live a bleak life.

What made Taeil feel even worse was that all of the other servants were excited for Haechan. They chatted about America and all the exaggerated accounts of it they’d heard on the radio like the country was the best thing that ever happened to the young Lord. Eventually, Taeil felt so sick with conflicting emotions of dread, sadness, and guilt that he had to excuse himself to his bedroom, where he sat on his bed and forced himself to pull it together.

Another hour filled with bitter feelings corroding in Taeil’s mind passed by, and soon the cook was stepping through the great doors of the manor into the warm air of midday. He took his place next to Jungwoo on the large path at the front of the manor and bowed his head. He should have assumed Haechan wouldn’t take time out of the busy hours before he left to talk to his lovestruck cook. Taeil was such a fool for having confidence in his plan. He had gotten his hopes up like an idiot and now he was facing the consequences. 

The car stationed in front of the driveway was nearly ready, all it needed was Haechan seated inside it before it would be driving off into the distance to the port where its passenger would then board a ship to carry him over the ocean, into a world so far from Taeil’s he would have to save up for weeks just to afford to send a written message to him.

A few minutes after Taeil took his place on the path, the giant double doors opened and Haechan emerged, looking as pristine and put together as ever. Dark jewels glittered at the base of his throat and around his wrist, Taeil noticed the bracelet he had given him for his twenty first birthday on his right hand. The tails of his dark blue coat swayed gently as he was escorted down the manor steps by his father. Taeil tried to catch his gaze but he refused to even so much as look in his direction.

Haechan unlooped his arm from his father’s to stand in the middle of the pathway where he could address every member of the household. 

“You have all been so good to me, it pains me to say goodbye, but my future lies over the ocean and to my future I shall run. I wish you all the best,” he said. Taeil couldn’t even hear the words that came after that first sentence. All he could hear was his increasingly ragged breath and the pounding of blood roaring in his ears. It was really happening, Haechan was leaving,

Taeil felt like he was being choked as Haechan thanked each family member in turn then the group of servants collectively. Their eyes met for a brief moment, but there was nothing special. It was like he was trying not to pay attention to the elder. He was so calm, so collected, any outsider would think he didn’t give a damn about any of the residents of the manor. But Taeil knew Haechan cared. The boy had been taught to cover his emotions with nonchalance when in the company of others, because when you were the son of a marquess it was your duty to be strong at all times.

The invisible hand around Taeil’s throat tightened when Haechan stepped back from the cluster of servants. He turned around to walk to the car, where the footman opened the door and helped him in. The engine started. The car began to move. Taeil felt a hand place itself on his shoulder; Jungwoo.

“Taeilie, you look as if you are moments away from passing out,” he whispered. 

Taeil sure felt like he was. He wasn’t like Haechan, trained to stay calm when upset occured, he was used to letting out his emotions, not pressing them down further and further as he was attempting to now. The pressure was too much for him to handle. As much as he wanted to run back down to the servants quarters to let out the tears damning in his burning eyes, he felt obliged to stay until the car was completely out of sight. He needed to give the boy he gave his heart to with letters filled to the brim with his love a proper farewell. 

“I-It’s fine, just tired,” Taeil lied, hating how his voice sounded as if it was on the verge of falling apart, “I think I need to sit down. Don’t worry, Woo, it’s f-fine.”

Taeil’s vision was so blurred by the tears sparkling in his eyes and rolling down his cheeks he could barely see the figure standing before him, gently wrapping its arms around his trembling body. What would he do without Jungwoo? He was one of the two people who knew about his secret, and the only one who could comfort him about it.

“Taeilie, I think-”

Taeil cut in before his friend could finish his sentence. “It’s fine, I swear, please don’t-”

“No, Taeil, someone is calling for you.”

Jungwoo released Taeil from his embrace so he could quickly reorient himself. Someone was calling him, they had a soft voice, high in pitch, one that Taeil could listen to all day. The cook wiped his eyes viciously with his dirty sleeve. Once everything came into focus he saw that the owner of the voice was indeed who he thought it was; Haechan Lee. The young Lord was running down the driveway, in his hand was an open envelope and a piece of paper covered in Taeil’s words of affection. He was running back to the manor in his direction.

All of a sudden, arms were around Taeil’s waist and a head was buried in his chest. 

Haechan had come back. 

And in a matter of moments, his soft lips were on Taeil’s wet tear stained cheek. “Taeil, I cannot believe you left it to the last minute to give me those damn letters. Thank the Lord I read them before the car had travelled too far!” he exclaimed. “Moon Taeil, I love you too, and that is why you shall be coming with me to America!”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to all the ALW mods for running this awesome fest and you for reading this historically inaccurate little fic! Apologies for the wonky pacing. Much <3


End file.
